Albert the Perfect Friend

written by Terri Hendrix
©1997 THM Music (BMI)

Albert's got a crazy eye
that strays to the right
he's got thin crooked lips
that he constantly licks
he lives in a house that
looks like a wound
to a good neighborhood

Albert stuck his hand down the blouse
of Sammy's gal's shirt
she slapped his face
she said do it again
I won't tell Sam your best friend

Ease on up. Ease on up.
Albert changes his plans.
Ease on up. Ease on up.
Albert's the perfect friend.

Albert's got your wallet
in his back pocket
Albert's got a cheesy smile on his face
it's the suckers who lose
the loosers they win like Albert
your perfect friend