E.R.N.I.E.

I am the bringer of your wishes, your saviour from doing work
The washer of your dishes and you'll still get your midday perk
Estate agent your mansion and pot of gold
All the home comforts before you're getting tired and old

One more try, try to get what you've never had
Five more bob for the whole world, that can't be bad
We can't all win, look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week

So when you hear me coming along halls and up the stairs (E.R.N.I.E.)
In the back of teapots in the cupboard, under chairs (E.R.N.I.E.)
Forget all your wives tales of forecasts and dividends (E.R.N.I.E.)
When E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations only pays out to trusted friends

One more try, try to get what you've never had
Five more bob for the whole world, that can't be bad
We can't all win, look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week

"Congratulations, you've just won a five thousand pound premium bond"

Keep your hand on the bottle and your eyes glued upon the set (E.R.N.I.E.)
When the score cards come up, could be you for the big one next (E.R.N.I.E.)
Publicity, no thank you on the front page of the Currant Bun (E.R.N.I.E.)
They think you stink, but in the pub you'll be number one

One more try, try to get what you've never had
Five more bob for the whole world, that can't be bad
We can't all win, look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every... week