Punky's Whips

Davey Moire:
Whatever happened to all the fun in the world?

Patrick O'Hearn:
Gurh-gurh-gurhg

Don Pardo:
In today's rapidly changing worldMusical groups appear almost every day
With some new promotional device
Some of these devices have been known to leave irreparable scars
On the minds of foolish young consumers
One such case is seated before you
Live on stage
Yes Terry Bozzio

Terry Bozzio:
That's me

Don Pardo:
That cute little drummer
Terry recently fell in love with a publicity photo
Of a boy named Punky Meadows
Lead guitar player from a group called Angel
In the photo
Punky was seen with a beautiful shiny hairdo
In a semi-profile
Which emphasized the pooched out succulence
Of his insolent pouting rictus

Terry Bozzio:
Ooh, Punky

Don Pardo:
The sight of which drove the helpless drummer
Mad with desire

I can't stand the way he pouts
('Cause he might not be pouting for me!)
Hah! Pouting for you?
Hah! Punky Meadows? Pouting for you?
His hair's so shiny and it's done real nice
(Till I squirm with ecstasy)
Squirm with ecstasy

Punky, Punky
Give me your lips
To die on

Isn't it romantic, Punky?

Punky, Punky
Give me your lips
To die on
I promise not to come in your mouth

Punky, Punky
Your album's the shits
It's all wrong
But listen, this is no laughing matter

I ain't really queer
But if he ever got near
Steven Tyler would pay to see
Pay to see

Punky's whips, Punky's whips
His hair's so shiny, I love his hips
I love his teeth, and his gums and such
Punky
(So what's happenin', man?)
You're an angel
(Oh)
You're too much

He's been havin' a rash
(No shit)
That keeps the girls away
Skin doom
(Skin doom!)
Is what the doctors say

I wonder if Punky
Is rehearsin' today
I'll just go over
And hear him play
His hair is so pretty
I'd like to bite his neck
I've heard a rumour
He's more fluid than Jeff Beck
(Dig this)
I ain't queer
I ain't gay
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ee-ay-ee-ay)
A wrist array-he-hey
(That's all it is)

Punky's lips, Punky's lips
Oh, I love his hair, eatin' dunk-y chips
Yes, I love his blink and his blank-blank-blank
Why, maybe he'd like to yank my crank?
Yank it Punky
Yank it faster
Yank it harder
Yank it all night long
Come on Punky
Get funky

I ain't queer
(No no no no)
I ain't gay
(No no no no)
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-he-he-he-hey)
A wrist array-hey
(One more time for the world)
And then he said
I ain't queer
I ain't gay
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ay-hay)

I-I
Lord, I-I'm fo-fo-o-o-nd
Of chiffo-on
In a wrist array-ee-ay-hey
I said
I-I-I-I-I-I-I
Lord, I'm fo-o-nd
Of chiffo-on
In a wrist array
Come on, Punky

Frank Zappa:
Thank you
Terry Bozzio, ladies and gentlemen