Lonesome Cowboy Burt

My name is Burtram
I am a redneck
All my friends
They call me Burt
(Hi, Burt)
All my family
From down in Texas
Make their livin'
Diggin' dirt

Come out here to Californy
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
Ones I seen
Gets me so horny
Ruby lips
'N teeth like pearls

Wanna love 'em all
Wanna love 'em dearly
Wanna pretty girl
I'll even pay
I'll buy 'em furs
I'll buy 'em jewelry
I know they like me
Here's what I say

I'm Lonesome Cowboy Burt
(Speakin' atcha)
Come smell my fringey shirt
(Reekin' atcha)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here waitress
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-oo-pee

(He's Lonesome Cowboy Burt
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt)
Come on in this place
'N I'll buy you a taste
You can sit on my face
Where's my waitress?

Burtram, Burtram redneck
Burtram, Burtram redneck

I'm an awful nice guy
Sweat all day in the sun
Roofer by trade
Quite a bundle I've made
I'm unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun)

When I get off I get plastered
Drink till I fall onna floor
Find me some Communist bastard
'N stomp on his face
Till he don't move no more
(He stomps on his face
Till he don't move no more)

I fuss, an' I cuss an' I keep on drinkin'
Till my eyes puff up an' turn red
I drool on m'shirt
I see if he's hurt
Kick him again in the head, yes
Kick him again in the head, boys
Kick him again in the head, now
Kick him again in the head

Lonesome Cowboy Burt
(Speakin' atcha)
Come smell my fringey shirt
(Reekin' atcha)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here waitress
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-yeh
Yodel-oh-oo-pee

(Lonesome Cowboy Burt
A-don'tcha get his feelin's hurt)
Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste
'N you can sit on my face
Where's my waitress?
Opal, you hot little bitch