Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt
Frank Zappa
Ike:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n dancin' 'n payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
'Cause the sign outside says it's
Wet T-shirt nite
'N they all crave some
Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
'N the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
'N they all think they're
Reety-awright
'N they're ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it's
Wet T-shirt nite
'N they all crave some
Pink delight
When the water gets on 'em
Their ninnies get rigid
'N look pretty bold
It's a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
'N all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's
Wet T-shirt time again
I know you want someone to show you some tit
Big ones
Wet ones
Big wet ones
Ah, thanks, Ike
Yes, it's wet T-shirt time again
Here at The Brasserie
Home of the tits
Huh huh
And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals
Hi, Mary
Howya doin'?
Mary:
Hi!
Buddy Jones:
Where you from?
Mary:
Ah, the bus
Hee hee
Buddy Jones:
Which one?
Mary:
You know
The last tour
You know
Leather
Buddy Jones:
Oh
You were the girl that was stuck to seat thirty-eight on Phydeaux Three
Why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath, because this water is very, very cold,
Mary:
Ooh:
Buddy Jones:
but it's going to be so stimulating.
And Mary's the kind of red-blooded American girl who'll do anything
Mary:
Anything
Buddy Jones:
I said anything
For fifty bucks
That's right
Mary:
I really need the fifty bucks you know
I gotta get home
Buddy Jones:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed
That's right, you heard right
Our big prize tonite is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protruberances
Mary:
Here I am!
Buddy Jones:
As viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male person's conservative kind of middle-of-the-road cotton undergarment!
Whoopee!
Mary:
A-ha-ha
Buddy Jones:
And here comes the water!
Mary:
Eeek
Buddy Jones:
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you
Mary:
O-uuu-oh
Buddy Jones:
Sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead
Mary:
A-ha-ha
Buddy Jones:
U-hu-huh
And here comes the ice pick in the forehead
Mary:
Ooh!
Ha-ha-ha
Buddy Jones:
Heh
A million laughs, Mary!
Mary:
Ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha
Buddy Jones:
Anyway
Good golly, what a mess
She's totally soaked
Mary:
Ha
I love it
Buddy Jones:
Yeah, totally committed to the fifty bucks
That's it just step into the spotlight
Let the guys get a good look at ya, honey!
Mary:
Here I am!
Buddy Jones:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin' it around a little
Mary:
Ooh-ooh
Buddy Jones:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
Mary:
Oooh! I'm dancing!
Buddy Jones:
Ain't this what living is really all about!
Here's your fifty bucks, Mary
Mary:
Oh great! Now I can go home!
Ooh
Buddy Jones:
Home is where the heart is
Mary:
On the bus
Ha-ha