Dickie's Such an Asshole

One an' one is eleven
Two an' two is twenty-two
Won't somebody kindly tell me
What's the government is tryin'a do

Dickie's just too tricky
For a chump like me to use
Oh you
You take that sub-committee serious boy
(I'm serious)
You just might get a seizure from the evenin' news

Ah-oo
Millions an' millions of dollars
Ah-oo
Mu-huch as he might nee-hee-heed
(Good work)
Ah-oo
He can open up a chain of motels, people
Ah-oo
O-hon the highway, yes indeed

Quadraphonic desperation
(Oh we'll pinch that little sow)
Just might be confinement loaf all under your bed
Well
You know if you just might pinch a little loaf in your slumber
The FBI is gonna get your number
Gonna get your
Gonna get your
Gonna drop out the subcommittee and get your
Yippie-i
Gonna get your number
Yippie-i-e
Gonna get your number
Yippie-i
Wanna get your number
Yippie-i-e
Wanna get your number
Yippie-i
They already got your picture
Yippie-i-e
And your fingerprints too
Yippie-i
Then they got a guy in Virginia
Yippie-i-e
Whippin' up a little soup just for you
Gonna get your number
Gonna get your number

Tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know, I get so excited
When that soup goes over there

Can't have no
Private conversation
Nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world
Find out that their confinement loaf
Is just the same ol' way
Every day
(Pinch that loaf now!)

Let me tell you about this right now
Let me tell you about this right here
Let me make this perfectly clear
Let me tell you about this right here
You know you put me in office
So you must have wanted me in office
I've did you no harm
I used to have twenty-five tapes
Now I only got ten
Can't remember what happened to the rest
Musta gave 'em to a friend
Gave a couple to Bebe Rebozo
Gave a couple to Pat Boone
Gave a couple to Ronald Reagan
Gave a couple to the new vice-president
He said he'd stick with me through thick and thin
Even if I invaded Nicaragua
You know I'm not a crook
You know I'm not a crook
I just wanna lie about one more thing right now
Say yeah yeah

The gangster stepped right up
'N kissed him on the lips good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did
And he didn't even bat an eye

The man in the White House
Ooh
He's got a conscience black as sin
(Yeah, maybe I
I don't know but
It's just a training exercise)
There's just one thing I wanna know
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

You're all the same, so sing right along now

Dickie's such an asshole
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it
Sincerely, Ron, we mean it
Ho ho ho
Sincerely, Dick and Ron, we continue to mean it
Wee-ooo

Now let's bring the Republican Party up to date