Broken Hearts Are for Assholes

Hey now hey

Hey
Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole
Asshole

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do
'Cause you're an asshole

Yeah yeah yeah
I said you
Are
An asshole

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
And maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I've ever seen in my life
Was his name
One two three four
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Let's talk about leather
Leather
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton production
Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The tale of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in town
In a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
And so you worked the wall with Michael
With Kona
Three-hundred and seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong shows
Next Thursday, teen town's finest
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Well
Now you been to The Grape
Been to The Chest
Now I think you know what you are
You're an asshole

You say you can't live with what you've been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you
But don't fool yourself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl
It's blinkin' at you

That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Wrist-watch
Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud

Don't fool yourself girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
Don't fool yourself girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
Don't fool yourself girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
(Ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yourself girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
(Ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yourself gir
It's goin' right up your poop chute
(Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yourself girl
It's goin' right up your

Aah
I knew you'd be surprised