A Token of My Extreme

L. Ron Hoover:
Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology
The white zone is for loading and unloading only

Don't you be Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you be Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme

Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen

Joe:
Some people think
That if they go too far
They'll never get back
To where the rest of them are
I might be crazy
But there's one thing I know
You might be surprised
At what you find out when ya go

Oh oh oh Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

L. Ron Hoover:
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son
You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist
It appears to me

Joe:
That all seems very, very strange
I never craved a toaster
Or a color TV

L. Ron Hoover:
A Latent Appliance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of machines
Get the picture?

Joe:
Are you telling me
I should come out of the closet now
Mr. Ron?

L. Ron Hoover:
No, my son!
You must go into the closet

Joe:
What?

L. Ron Hoover:
And you will have

Joe:
Eh?

L. Ron Hoover:
Hey
A lot of fun
That's where they all live
So if you want an appliance to love you
You'll have to go in there 'n get you one

Joe:
Well that seems simple enough

L. Ron Hoover:
Yes, but if you want a really good one
You'll have to learn a foreign language

Joe:
German, for instance?

L. Ron Hoover:
That's right
A lot of really cute ones come from over there
Fifty bucks, please

L. Ron Hoover:
If you been
Mod-O-fied
It's an illusion, and you're in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a lot of nothin'
So what can it mean?

If you been
Mod-O-fied
It's an illusion, and you're in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a lot of nothin'
So what can it mean?

If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in between

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the Central Scrutinizer
Joe has just learned to speak German
Now get this
Here's why he did it
He's gonna go to this club
On the other side of town
It's called The Closet
And they got these Appliances in there
That really go for a guy dressed up like a housewife who can speak German
You know what I mean
So Joe's learned how to speak German
He goes into this place and he sees these little kitchen machineries dancing around with each other
And he sees this ''one''
That looks like er
It's a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank
With marital aids stuck all over its body
It's really exciting
And when he sees it
He bursts into song