I Did It for Alfie

Rejoice! Just rejoice at that news!
This girl has got the midlife blues
She lost her favourite marble again
It rolled down the nearest drain
A swing to the right and she's under attack
Much-sought-after property, completely detached
Plunging at the neck and daring at the back
And everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
(Repeat)
Rejoice! Just rejoice at that news!
This girl was split completely in two
Trevor, knock me down with a feather!
In the United Kingdom of Whatever
With a clean-cut center parting and a bloodrush to the head
"You won't get any older, dear" is what her stylist said
It's elegant bold and striking!
She'll never need a hat
And everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
(Repeat)
Alfie, I did it for Alfie
(Repeat)