Rookie

I never thought this could be me
I guess you never do until it's happening to you
Like all the fun turns into shame
And all the "could have been's" rearrange
So little time so many crimes
Guilt like a chain chokes my will away
Redemption never seemed so cruel
And all my gods never seemed so weak

Wake up, engage
Now derailed and enraged
It used to be so easy
Get up I'm game
Now sick and I'm tame
Counting cost with loss

Where is the hope they gave?
Don't think that I can't hear you laugh

I used to be a lot like you
But now I'm only me

Drink to pills to shots
Fun turns into shock
A habit and a pawn
For every hand goes round
The pain gets so damned loud
The hammer hits and I'm down

Trust no one, hey why should I?
They gave me the poison dressed like life
Cheated, smacked up and diseased
Cry to sleep and fight to eat
Used to be a pro at this
Now I've broken my own wrist
Rotten teeth and life unsung
You'll forget me when I'm gone