5 Funerals

I went to about five funerals this year
And I felt so empty that I couldn't even shed a tear
I felt so fucking selfish, all I thought about was me
And how I'd love to lay down on my back and just float out to sea
How I'm constantly losing my shit while my friends are losing family

I had something like a hundred bad days this year
Where at the end of each one I couldn't wait to just get out of here
If you knew how many times I thought
"The dead must have it pretty sweet"
I'd get beat

So when I go, please don't cry
It's not like I deserve to die but I've been burning bridges, man
Since day number one
And when the pack keeps lapping me and I don't fit in anywhere and don't know what to do
I wish that they took me instead of you

Do you have a good time?
Do you do you want or do you do what people want from you?
When you hit a certain age, does everyone stop having fun?
I seem to think it's true
Is exuberance a deterrent for which we pay a fee?
Is a quiet nod the only way?
Can't we loudly disagree?
It seems like these things, they work out for everyone
Everyone but me

So when I go, please don't cry
It's not like I deserve to die but
Baby, we ain't born to mourn and there's no hope in mope
And when the pack keeps lapping me and I don't fit in anywhere and don't know what to do
I wish that they took me instead of you

Don't treat it like a race
There's no winner at the finish line
Just treat it like a bar 'cause we all gotta leave some time
We can't fight the future so why do we even care?
We won't always have the luxury of sun-kissed summer air

We won't fight the future
We don't really care
So for the worst I'll always stay prepared

I went to about five
It went funeral, funeral, funeral, funeral, funeral, ugh