Medicine Show

"Three coffins are ready
Wha? Huh?"

Covered wagon medicine show
Take you to the place where the healing flows
Weak in spirit we got the juice
Won't save your soul it'll shine your shoes

Treated king to kangaroo
Santa Fe to Timbuktu, ohhoh
Don't be fooled by imitation
This is the stuff that cured a nation

We took the tube and the high plains too
Never stopped long just passing through
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France
Makes a hopeless cripple dance, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six gun's sound
As they chased us out of town, hohoh

In India we're all the rave
Discovered that it's great as aftershave, ohhoh
Dropped in the sea just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman, oh

Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you're a fool, ohhoh
And I read in the Middle East
They traded some for a hostage release

Now if you're bald, it'll give you hair
If you got straight trousers, it'll give you flares
Feeling up you'll get depressed
Out of style, here's a brand new dress, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six gun's sound
As they chased us out of town

"Who the hell is that?!
One bastard goes in and another comes out
I'm innocent of everything!"

"You makin' some kinda joke?!
Mmm, no
I don't think it's nice, you laughin'..."

Stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer tests, ohhoh
Days of heaven nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin

When all around you seems like hell
Just one sip will make you well, ohhoh
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain't ill, it'll fix your car

In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays it's used medicinally
For all known human malady, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six gun's sound
As they chased us out of town, hohoh

"Wanted in fourteen counties of this State
The condemned is found guilty of crimes and murder
Armed robbery of citizens, state banks, and post offices
The theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison
Perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children
Inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion
Receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods
Passing counterfeit money, and contrary to the laws of this State
The condemned is guilty of using marked cards...
Therefore, according to the powers vested in us
We sentence the accused before us
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez (known as the Rat)
And any other aliases he might have
To hang by the neck until dead
May God have mercy on his soul... proceed"

"Duck, you sucker!"

"I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"