In Two Minds

She sits up all night every night
Down in the kitchen
Summer and winter
Dressed only in her nightdress
Seated at the table
Silent, thinking
Sometimes her head is in her hands
Sometimes she stares off into space
Sometimes she pulls her hair until the tears come

She is thinking, only that
This is the only time she has
We'd stop her if we were able
Her mother says, why are you such a bad girl
You used to be so kind and thoughtful
Her father says, you know you only hurt your mother
If she keeps doing it, they will have to call the doctor

Night is the only time I have
The only time it is quiet
The only time people are not trying
To confuse me with demands

Given time, she can think it through
To the hollow heart of it
To the lonely lying
That makes slaves of the children
In order to conceal the guilt of the old
And their tragedy
For they can look back on nothing
Except what they can say they own

We are coming (next to meal?)
Though insist they need her (...?...)
Their sacrifice to her

That is why, in the quiet night
She tiptoes into the kitchen
Leaving the light blazing
Sits down at the table in the quiet
With the tiny room alone and silent
Dark, floating in a sea of dark
Only light inside
And she there
Sitting barefoot in her nightdress
At the table
Only thinking

When the doctors come and finds out
She has always been a little strange
While her parents weep because
She is clearly not herself
When parent secretly conspires with parent
To discredit conscience and reject all criticism
As a shameful sickness

It is then that wealthy patrons of the state
With numberless murders in their hearts
Make public acclaim of the morality
Of self loathing that commits
One more

Given time, she can think it through
To the hollow heart of it
To the lonely lying

Given time, she can think it through
To the hollow heart of it
To the lonely lying