Ampersand

I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sounds of trucks and sirens
Even though the world’s so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling

The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said “Sure, you seem so nice, let’s get it on”
Still I always shock them when I answer “Hi, my name’s Amanda”, and

I’m not gonna live my life
On one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you
I’m not the girl you think I am
And I’m not gonna match you
’Cause I’ll lose my voice completely
No, I’m just gonna watch you
’Cause I’m not the one that’s crazy

I have wasted years of my life
Agonizing about the fires
I started when I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds goes into question how authentic they are
There is always someone criticizing me, she just likes playing hospital

Lying in my bed
I remember what you said
“There’s no such thing as accidents”

But you’ve got the headstone all ready
All carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up in
Pairs to the horizons
Your eyes full of ketchup
It’s nice that you’re trying
The headstone’s all ready
All carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matching
The daises all push up in
Pairs to the horizons
Your eyes full of ketchup
It’s nice that you’re trying

But I’m not gonna live my life
On one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you
I’m not the girl you think I am
And I’m not gonna match you
’Cause I’ll lose my voice completely
No, I’m not gonna watch you
’Cause I’m not the one that’s crazy
I’m not the one that’s crazy

As I wake up – two o’clock –
The fire burned the block, but ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die, but you were awful adamant
That if I didn’t love you, then you have just one alternative

And I may be romantic
And I may risk my life for it
But I ain’t gonna die for you
You know I ain’t no Juliet
And I’m not gonna watch you
While you burn yourself out, baby
No, I’m not gonna stop you
’Cause I’m not the one that’s crazy

I’m not the one that’s crazy
I’m not the one that’s crazy