Watching The Telly

This song which er
Ian is going to begin

A nice song we wrote last night

It's er called Watching The Telly and it's about the effects that watching the telly has on humanity.

Okay.

Just leave me a note if you're going down the shops
I'll be right along after Top Of The Pops
Unless there's a show that has robbers and cops
And a Kung Fu person doing masterful chops

I'll be right back once I've seen the headlines
'Cos the good shows on, y'know, just when it gets to bedtime
Don't worry about me though, I'm doing fine
Could I have a cup of tea, love, oh, this one is mine

Wooh

Television's not as good as it was when I was young
You got individuality then, not so many guns
Do you remember Tony Hancock, you know the blood donor one
I'll tell you in a minute, 'cos East Enders is now on

Now ladies and gentlemen
At this point there would normally be
An instrumental solo of some sort.
I'd get my slide whistle out, I'd get my kazoo out
And entrance you with musicality
But
Tonight is different
Tonight I'll demonstrate to you the insidiousness of late night Channel Four movie seasons
We're gonna have erotic art
Live on stage
(Yay!)
Watch
Very carefully

(Three minutes)

(Aah aah ah yeah)

I love you
But I ignore you
I'm getting fat
I'm getting smelly

I love you
But I ignore you
'Cos I am watching
The telly

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen
It's now time ...