The Duvet Song

Lying in bed it's cold and bare
The top of my body, the duvet ain't there
I reach to the left but the duvet ain't there
So reach to the right but the duvet ain't there
It's fallen to the floor where it's lying in a heap
At the foot of my bed where it looks like a sheep
In the half-light of the night where it's just fallen asleep
But it's my eiderdown fleece which warm me will keep

And we say woh woh
With the duvet song
Woh woh
With the duvet song

Last night I covered up my body
And my legs stuck out
So then I covered up my legs
And my body stuck out
I went on like this till morning
It was then that I found
I'd been sleeping
With the duvet
The wrong way round

And we say woh woh
A-ha it's the duvet song

Woh oh maybe we won't a-ha-ha
I completely forgot that I, I
Yes I
Not my job to remember these things
My job's to stand here
And soak up the gamma radiation from this light
And stop it mutating the band

What keeps you warm in winter
What gets you hot in summer
What was a gift from your mother
What can you share with your lover
What is measured off in togs
What is a Dutchman without clogs
What comes in different sizes
But rarely improvises

We say woh woh
A-ha it's the duvet song
Woh woh
A-ha it's the duvet song

Now
Janet
Is going to demonstrate for us
Through the use of the harpsichord
A natural Jamaican instrument if ever I heard one
Some of the difficulties of duvet management
Janet is going to illustrate to you exactly
How complicated it is to get your duvet inside the duvet cover
Whilst wearing stripey tights
Please pay attention to Janet you may learn something

Don't ever go away
I need you
When it's cold
I need you when I'm young
Like now
And I will need you when I'm old
You were invented by the Romans
Or so I have been told
I bought you in a shop
But from me you won't be sold

'Cos we say woh-oh
It's the duvet song
Woh-oh ah
It's the duvet song
Woh-aoh
It's the duvet song