The Cat Song

A lot of life is miserable
A lot of it is risible
Some of it is just about all right
Some bits of life are simply dull
So much it seems you live in Hull
But everything turns wonderful at night

When you are walking down the street
A-listening to the pedestrian beat
To footsteps echoing right and left and right
The moon is hanging up above
It don't matter if you've got no love
'Cause something wonderful's happening here tonight

As you pass by a stranger's gate
In a quirk of what you might call fate
Nonchalantly she's waiting there for you
No need for being circumspect
Anatomy has become erect
As she rubs your legs you know just what to do

Oh stroking a stranger's pussy by the gatepost late at night
Stroking a stranger's pussy can make everything seem all right
You've suddenly gained a friend who is purring around your shins
Oh stroking a stranger's pussy, well this way everyone wins

Tickle the tigger behind the ears
Under the chin and placate your fears
By ruffling through her glorious belly fur
And as she throws her legs apart
Oh her back, in the dark
Well hedonism is just enough for her

And if the pavement isn't icy cold
Sit down beside your friend who's bold
Cuddle the cat, pamper the puma's kin
Pick up the purring powder puff
You'll know when she has had enough
By the tearing sound of claws inside your skin

Oh stroking a stranger's pussy by the gatepost late at night
Stroking a stranger's pussy can make everything seem all right
You've suddenly got a friend who is purring around your shins
Oh stroking a stranger's pussy, well this way everyone wins

Your day-to-day will ebb away
You settle down for a little play
It don't matter if it's misty or rainy or foggy
'Cause this is love without the strings
Or breaking hearts or violins
Just making a moment of magic with a moggie

It's simple enough, this sort of love
She's getting from you a stroke from above
'Cause she's not silly enough to expect that you'll ring
It's a one-time thing she knows full well
And besides she can ring her own damn bell
She's just filling her evening by doing her thing

Oh stroking a stranger's pussy by the gatepost late at night
Stroking a stranger's pussy can make everything seem all right
You've suddenly gained a friend who is purring around your shins
Oh stroking a stranger's pussy, well this way everyone wins

But the picture's not all hugs and kisses
A cat's intuition occasionally misses
Our feline flirt gets folded up into a sack
Some bastard wants to make her fluff
Into a range of warming muffs
And collars and crimps and a super-smooth Siamese mac

So life is an uncertain thing
It's as likely to end as it is to begin
And tonight could be your last night on this earth
So carpe diem, fish of the day
Savour the cats that you meet on your way
Unbuckle your burdens, remember just what they are worth

And pamper the pussies you meet in the street
Give 'em a stroke and give 'em a treat
Purr back at them when they purr up at you
If you're feeling a little down
Fingering fur can unfurrow your frown
It's amazing the things a tail held high will do
To you
Oh it's amazing the things an upright tail can do
'Ave her some catnip
It's amazing just what a beautiful puss-cat can do
Just one more time now
It's amazing just what a chance meeting with fluffs will do
Do do do do
Do