Secret Hidden Special Bonus Track (Mysterious)

Charlie still lives with his mum and his dad
He was the eldest and lonely child that they've had
He juggled with vim in March and in May
And he bought fresh fish fingers just to give them away

And we said oh Charlie my mate
The fingers you gave us were great
But if I stay much more I'll be late
You eccentric bastard

Well Charlie grew older in alternate years
And he varnished the cat with more talent he fears
He liked to wear trousers of a very loose fit
And draw pictures of places where people could sit

And we said oh Charlie my sweet
That picture is really a treat
Mm but the edges are not very neat
You eccentric bastard

Well Charlie wore monocles, a left and a right
He claimed that they aided binocular sight
His two hearing aids which he jammed up his nose
He never explained us the uses of those

And we said oh Charlie me mucker
Your levels of self-love are quite pukka
If you saw a flying lady you'd duck her
You eccentric bastard

Well Charlie worked hard in job in the school
Where he tipped the lost property into the pool
And scooped it back out with the aid of a net
(Which had been the job I'd been hoping to get)

And we said oh Charlie me friend
Your good fortune seems never to end
Have you a fiver you're willing to lend
You eccentric bastard

Charlie was as generous as the days they were long
In Winter that's not much then Summer comes along
For each pound he lends he expects in return
An ode that you've writ on some old Grecian urn

And we said oh Charlie me tart
You've an expansive and beautiful heart
But you keep it outside in a cart
You eccentric bastard

Charlie died young aged a hundred and ten
And left all his wealth to thirty-two men
Who ran a small shop in Alfriston Bay
And showed inclinations of being quite gay

And we said oh Charlie you're dead
But don't let it go to your head
I remember each word that you said
You eccentric bastard