My Neighbour Has Had A Dream
A F Harrold
Er this is called My Neighbour Has Had A Dream
er, which is also the first line of the poem which gives you a hint where I got the title from
er, so we begin with the title.
My neighbour has had a dream
My neighbour has had a dream
I overheard him telling Mrs Jones who lives on the other side all about it
In it, he received instructions detailing the proportions and the method of construction required for a great big boat
Since we live some distance from the coast
And since it is for the most part a dry land
I paid him and his dream little heed
But Mrs Jones, who is a widow, didn't
In fact, she positively encouraged him
Day by day, crossing their two gardens
Grew the spine and ribs of a great big boat
They covered it, tarred it, and three weeks later they broke a bottle of champagne on it
They invited the whole neighbourhood round
We had a guided tour, and it all looked very nice
Mr Peterson from number 14 began to feel seasick and had to be helped off
My boys walked 'im 'ome
Very kind, I thought
The next morning everyone woke up to the sound of something alien in the garden and on the roofs
What had begun as a sprinkling became a downpour
When young Shem came back from the newsagent
My Daily Telegraph was simply pulp
It was raining that hard
Outside the back window a row of shapes was passing
Giraffe, cobra, gnu, chinchilla, marmoset, puma, caribou, coypu, apricot, antelope, kangaroo, panther, wolf, bison, ocelot, bear, sheep, dog and frog
I stuck my head out and shouted at my neighbour
What's all this then?
Animals, he replied
On my flowerbeds? I said
They're ruined
He clearly didn't hear as he continued counting
I gathered the boys up to go over there in order to discuss my flowerbeds man to man
By the time I found my waterproof sandals
Fastened my biggest robe around me and set out
He'd counted the last of his menagerie aboard
I stormed up the gangplank to make my point
Hello neighbour, he said benevolently
Obviously misunderstanding the look on my face
There's not much room left after the animals
But me and Mrs Jones don't mind squeezing up
My flowerbeds! I roared above the increasing rain
They're absolutely ruined!
Trampled, eaten, crushed!
Oh dear, he said, I didn't realise
I'll see what I can do
And so he set off down the gangplank, trowel in hand
You just keep an eye on the animals for me
Make sure they don't get into any more mischief
So me and the boys kept an eye on the animals
While the thunder continued to crash
After a while and a short game of cards I stood up
And as I stood up I wobbled
The whole room wobbled
Outside, the gangplank was drifting away toward the houses
And all that remained to be seen of the houses were their roofs
And very soon all that remained of the roofs was the aerials
And I turned to the boys and said
Has anyone seen Mrs Jones?