Literary Relics - A Tour Around My Flat

Like many folk in my profession
I'm fond of literary history
I mean the stories and lives of writers
Mean a lot to me
And I'm a bit of an anorak
I've bought a bit of this and that
From auctions and what-have-you
For example, the odd piece of William Makepeace
Thackeray knick-knackery
If you see what I mean
And when I'm stuck for inspiration
I'll take out some object
Some relic I've collected
And just hold it for a bit
Or maybe give it a little stroking
And sometimes, really, I'm not joking
Sometimes I'll get an idea or two
And I like to think that the previous owner's
Essence is coming through

Anyway, enough of the mystical preamble
I know people tend to come and visit me
With the expectation of a little inspection
Of the literary relics in my collection
So, here we go

Here in my study
Look to the glass cabinets on the wall
And there underneath a rare authenticated Wordsworth manuscript
Which has, to be fair, been knocked about a bit
Down at the bottom
Now looking slightly rotten
Are Aphra Behn's pens
Above them is Dorothy Parker's Parker
Looking better, leant across a letter
And Pablo Neruda's ruler
Which he used to underline important words
On Somerset Maugham's forms
And James Joyce's invoices

On the other side of my study
Securely tucked away in what was once Leo Tolstoy's tallboy
You'll find the only extant fragment
Of one of Kafka's kaftans
Alongside Sartre's garters
Walter de la Mare's flowery flares
Hilaire Belloc's smocked socks
And various frocks belonging to the Brontës

Leaving my study and moving into the hall
You'll see draped across one of Baudelaire's favourite chairs
John Ruskin's buskins
Beside Mervyn Peake's peaked cap
That might be made from a bight of material from Keats's kite
And there, stood upright in Samuel Beckett's bucket
Is what I assume's Sassoon's bassoon
Although to be fair the provenance of that is rather unclear

(to be continued)