Just Say No

Er this poem's called Just Say No and it's a warning to anyone who's stupid enough not to heed the warning that the poem is.

They offered him a cream cracker
Said it wouldn't do no harm
But we found him six months later
With crumbs all down his arm

A week after he had that cracker
He tried a custard cream
Said he'd only have the one
But soon he began to dream

Of bourbons and pink wafers
And there beside his bed
Soon sat a biscuit barrel
From which his waking dreams were fed

Sometimes he'd do two at once
A ginger nut and a rich tea
And we knew he had a problem
When one day he gobbled three

He just said we were being silly
He said he could stop at any time
And besides he didn't believe biscuits
Were immoral or a crime

But the proof we said was in the pudding
And he never seemed to stop
And soon it wasn't just digestives
That he brought back from the shop

For as certain as water rains on you
And as sure as enough's enough
Cream crackers would lead to bourbons
Which will then lead to harder stuff

We hadn't seen him for a while
And fearing he'd done something rash
We crept into his house one night
To confiscate his stash

We broke down the back door
It wasn't locked, just badly hung
And we found him in he front room
Where he was laid among

The metallic-looking wrappers
And the moulded plastic trays
Of decadence, indulgences
A designer choc-chip craze

Now I don't know where he got the money
To satisfy his habit
Because some of those posh biscuits
Cost over a quid a packet

Now when the ambulance arrived
He was already three days dead
Overdosed on fig rolls
Is what the doctor said

So now children tell your parents
And parents you tell yours
Of the consequences following
From that initial cracker's cause

For it's an easy road to fall down
It's a tempting slope to follow
But remember those who fell before you
When you feel inclined to swallow