In The Continent Of Asia

Er, another poem.

In the continent of Asia
In the Himalayan range
There's a one-eyed yellow idol
Which the Westerners find strange
But this one-eyed yellow idol's
Just a thing the natives built
To confuse intrepid white men
In their trousers or their kilts
'Cos these white men know what happens
When a mountaineer gets lost
In the Alps or in the Andes
Mountain Rescue send the dogs
That bold St. Bernard breed
That's specially trained for saving people
And although they sometimes have difficulty
If a man's stuck up a steeple
They're good at what they do
In the mountains that they know
And they're happiest when they're rollicking
With half-corpses in the snow
But there are no dogs in the Himalayas
Though there are signs which say "No Dogs"
It's to do with late night barking
Simply pissing off the gods
But they had to find an alternative
To fill the St. Bernard's niche
And they experimented with peregrine falcons
And with mountain goats and feesh
Fish
They had a short test with a snail team
And a snake test that was rather long
And though the tiger was enthusiastic
His motivations were wrong
And none of them showed the commitment
And none had the St. Bernard's knack
For saving missing people
That is until they tried the yak
For the yak liked finding people
Because it is assumed
That once the people are out of there
The yak has much more room
For he's a solitary creature
Who does not care to share
With any living animal
The mountains that are there
And an advantage over St. Bernards
That the yak has got I figure
Is that the little brandy barrel
On the yak is that much bigger