If It's Not Broken ...

Er, I'm Ashley er, Harrold or A F Harrold professionally
I'd like to er
Read you a little poem
Please ladies and gentlemen
Khm

Er this is called If It's Not Broken
The poem comes in two parts.

Part one

Oh Elizabeth do you remember
When the sky was always blue
And the days went on for years
And all there was was me and you

And Elizabeth do you remember
Sitting outside in the dark
Looking out for shooting stars
And dreaming of Denmark

And Elizabeth do you remember
How we used to lie awake
And you'd cuddle that little bit closer
Whilst sharing a Cadbury's flake

And Elizabeth do you remember
How they took it all away
How they shattered that idyll we shared
How they distracted our love one day

When you began to say Snickers
When you knew it was Marathon
I begged and I pleaded, got down on my knees
Snickers you said, I said baby please
But you unrepentant just said it again
And we watched something beautiful end
Watched something beautiful end

Part two

Oh Janine do you remember
How it used to be we'd laugh
And you'd smile that little smile
Before you joined me in the bath

And Janine do you remember
How we'd read those dirty books
And then struggle with belts and buckles
And struggle with zips and hooks

And Janine do you remember
The poems I wrote you back then
'Cause I honestly thought that I loved you
But then it began again

And you began to say Starbursts
When you knew they were Opal Fruits
I did not understand your compulsions
Your desire to stir my revulsion
Just brought nearer the day of revulsion
The way you abused and slandered fruit chews
And played with my feelings not quite how I planned
As you passed me a Starburst
Held out in your hand

Now this may seem insignificant
To all those who don't give a damn
But I say to them man to man
That what's inside the wrapper
May or may not change
But when the name's becoming crapper
Well they've made a choice that's strange
Because Opal denoted luxury
The Fruit denoted ... fruit
If I was an Australian
I'd likely declare it beaut
But I'm not so I won't but I will say this
To call Opal Fruits Starburst is taking the piss

And Janine
Give in
Come back
Admit that I am right
Goodnight