A Song About Tits

... very sure.

Once again, I er, I haven't written a song
I haven't brought anything with me so if we can have a suggestion from the audience about what this final song should be about
Then er we'll do a song about that.
So er anyone any ideas?

(Tits)
(Sex)
(Sex)
(Tits)

Okay ladies and gentlement this is
This has been requested
A song about
The female protruberances
Something I have er
Vast and er exciting experience of so we'll see what happens here

Preacher John, take it away for us
Another man who knows about tits

I woke up this morning
Went down my stairs
I opened my door
The milk bottles were there
One pint of Gold Top
One pint of silver
One pint of blue chequers
And one stripey red one
That they used to give out
When they'd mixed all the milk up
So the cream would be evenly
Distributed

I looked at my Gold Top
Sat in the corner there
There's a hole
In the foil
There's a little
A little hole
And all the cream had been gone
And that cream had been gone
And that cream had been gone
And that

Those tits
Had taken my cream
Those tits
Had taken my cream
Blue tits
Great tits
Little grey ones
Some looked like robins
And they weren't tits
They were robins
And that's about it

Tits tits tits
Mmm flapping around
On my windowsill
Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill

Maybe we can get you all to join in on this chorus yeah
Quite simple
All you need to do is say with me
These words

Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill
Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill
Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill
(Tits)

The window was open
The little bird
Was pecking at some
Breadcrumbs
I'd sprinkled over the windowsill
The little bird was pecking them
The little bird was pecking them
It was very sweet
So I
I looked at that tit
I looked at them
I looked him deep in the eyes
I said to him I said
Tit
You know my Gold Top
You know my Red Stripe
And I
Well
Let me just say this
I closed that window rather suddenly
And
It was very
It was very swift for the tits
I scraped it up
All those tits wrecked
And er
Put them on my toast
Under the grill with some cheese and some Gold Top
It was brill
I didn't want to stop
So I swiftly swallowed my tits
Swiftly swallowed my tits
And then I ran
So I ran
I ran all the way to the bathroom
Lifted up the toilet seat cover
The cover
And I exerted as many major birds as I could
It's gonna take like a chested warbler
A great grey owl
A full barney owl
A tawny quincy owl
A great eagle red kite red kite
Surely this is a duck
Dull lull
Make this finish somehow
One more chorus
(Okay, chorus, please)

Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill
Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my windowsill
Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my window
Flapping around on my windowsill sill sill
(Sing it again ...)

Tits tits tits
Flapping around on my window
Sill

Ladies and gentlemen that was Bohemian Night
I hope you all come back next week
For more of the same
Good night...