The Most Boring Man In England

Two three four

The most boring man in England
Is still (...?...) my friend
I know I must resist him
Because his friendship's (...?...)
Yes yes yes

He's the most boring man in England
As his girlfriend would agree
If she hadn't been a (...?...)
Since nineteen eighty-three

He's
The most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England
The most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England

The most boring man in England
Has got a great big woolly beard
I think he thinks that's interesting
Walking round looking like Edward Lear

But (...?...)
(...?...)
In (...?...) just like him
There (...?...) cut

He's
The most boring man in England
Most boring man in England
The most boring man in England
Most boring man in England

What features on TV
Is a documentary
That was shown on BBC
And that was (...?...) because
(...?...)

(... really difficult to make this out ...)


The most boring man in England
Is more boring than you
(...?...) Teletext
Because (...?...)

He's
The most boring man in England
The most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England
The most boring man in England

He's the most boring man in England
And if you say that (...?...)
He's just (...?...) boring man
In Scotland, Wales and France

He's
The most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England
He's the most boring man in England

He's the most boring man in England
(Boring)
He's the most boring man in England

I met him in the supermarket one day
I was just walking down the aisle with my trolley
I saw him coming up the other way
I said to myself oh dearie dearie me
I tried to duck behind a pyramid of baked beans
You only see in comic books and nineteen seventies (...?...) programmes

(to be continued)